Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think I just sharted jello shots
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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