i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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