Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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