I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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