They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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