Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
