Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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