I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
