Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
