my vag is so smooth its legendary
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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