i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
