He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
