Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize