Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
