Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
