Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
