East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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