Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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