please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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