I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
