I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Are we still banned from the library?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
