marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
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he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.