please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.