Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.