So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
