he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
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I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.