The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
