I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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