God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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