I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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