Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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