All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
do nipples grow back?
Randomize