I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
