i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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