Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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