I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
