Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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