well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
