I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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