Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You were trust falling into bushes
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
