she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
