Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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