If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
