We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
