Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
