the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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