Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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