so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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