So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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