I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
