If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
