apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
