He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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