I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
