sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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