Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
