are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
