i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
