I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
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We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize