I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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