literally had 100 drinks last night.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
