But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
