ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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