You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
