he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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